


Driving the Spectrum Arch

by maria_j_harper



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Swearing, some sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 04:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2215791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maria_j_harper/pseuds/maria_j_harper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What's wrong, Lodge? Never played with a girl before?" - Cass, The Gamers: Dorkness Rising</p><p>Or: In which Latula teaches Kankri to play Marioh Cart and shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Driving the Spectrum Arch

You are, by nature, a competitive person. You don’t really view it as a flaw. You like to win, what’s wrong with that? Winners are rad. Everybody loves a winner, especially when she’s on their team. If you win, everyone wins, right?  
Now, of course, things have changed.  
You hear Kankri cough as you elbow him in the ribs. You whiz by his idle cart on the screen in front of you. You had invited him to play Marioh Cart with you because you had thought it was the sort of game even a noob like him could learn to play with relative ease. You’d thought wrong. Days it had taken you to teach him, days for him to get good enough that you had to get a little rough with him to keep your advantage.  
“Latula, that kind of flagrant violence could be extremely triggering to some people! Have you even considered-”  
“Shut up an play Vantas!” As an afterthought you add “Hashtag strong language.” You want to play a game, not listen to him give a ~~lecture~~ sermon on various triggers.  
He resumes playing the game, seemingly satisfied. Moments later, you tag your swearing as your cart slips on a banana peel and goes flying off the track. When your cart regenerates, Kankri is in the lead again. Violence, it seems, will hurt more than it will help in winning against him. You decide to try a subtler approach. After all, as the Knight of Mind, subtlety is your forte.  
You drive your cart right up behind his, but the track is narrow and you make no attempt to pass him. You let your knee wander over to brush against his, and he must be pretty invested in the game because he makes no move to pull away, or any other gesture to indicate he’s noticed the contact. “I’m right on your tail, you might want to drop a special item,” you advise, leaning in close to murmur in his ear.  
He drives his cart off the track.  
You laugh and race ahead. You win the round. “What do you say Kankri? Go again?”  
“Sounds good to me.” He agrees.  
“How about this time... we go for The Spectrum Arch? I think you’re finally ready to take it on again. Whaddaya say, are you pumped or what?”  
Oh yes, The Spectrum Arch. When he had seen the map, he’d been drawn by the fact that every color of the spectrum was represented. Then you’d let him play it, and laughed your ass off as he did pirouette after acrobatic fucking pirouette off of the track.  
“Yes, alright. I believe I am “pumped” as you say to attempt that map again. And... thank you Latula. I couldn’t have gotten this far without your tutelage.”  
“You know it! But don’t thank me yet, I ain’t shown you ALL my secrets, that would be pretty bad strategy on my part don’tcha think?”  
“Yes, i suppose so.” The game starts.  
Kankri’s reflexes are pretty good, and he’s handling The Spectrum Arch pretty damn well. He might even make it to the finish line, if you didn’t plan to mess with him every league of the way. You start with the standard special item boobytraps on the first circut of the track, to lull him into a false sense of security. Then you brush knees with him again, and let them keep touching.  
You can tell he’s struggling to ignore your distracting physical contact. Celibate he may be, but he’s only trollian after all. It should only take a little push now to throw him completely off his game. You see your opportunity at a series of twists and turns that used to trip you up all the time on this track, and you seize it.  
You lean into the turns, a seemingly innocent habitual movement, until you lean left and your rumblesphere brushes softly against his upper arm. His cart flies off the track as he does a predictably acrobatic pirouette off the fucking handle.  
“I hope that you’ll pardon my vulgarity, and excuse me if I inadvertently trigger you Latula, but what the fuck? Hashtag swearing.” Whoa, he’s really pissed off, isn’t he?  
You just laugh. “What’s wrong, can’t take the heat?”  
“Latula, you know very well what’s wrong! You have been making physical contact with me, on purpose, to throw me off my game, and I find it incredibly triggering! You are making me uncomfortable, brushing... parts of you I vowed never to touch against me, like some kind of temptress, just to give yourself a gaming advantage!” His face is red, as it tends to get when he’s really upset.  
“What? Me? A temptress? Kankri, I was just leaning into the turns. Any thoughts you mighta been having were all your own. Honestly Vantas, if a little brush with some sideboob is all it takes to tempt you, maybe you were never meant to be the celibate type. Also, sidenote, celibacy just means you can’t have sex. I’m pretty sure you can still touch a boob.”  
And there he goes. As soon as you said that, you had regretted it. Nothing can stop him now. This is going to be the trigger-warning filled tirade to end all trigger-warning filled tirades. You’re doomed to listen to this for another three hours, more, unless...  
“Yo, Kanks, lend me your hand a minute.”  
Slightly confused, he stops. “You know Latula, it is extremely rude of you to interrupt me like that,” he says, irritated. Nonetheless, he holds out his hand, which you take by the wrist. “In fact, that ties into what I was just saying. I realize that your reputation as a “radical girl” requires you to sometimes break the rules, but-”  
He stops again, jaw slack, as you put his hand on one of your rumblespheres, and hold it there. You flash him a toothy grin. “What’s the matter Vantas, never played with a girl before?”


End file.
